Brady is our Marketing Director and also works closely with homeowners and business owners as a Project Manager.
If you had to pick just one virtue to represent you — or that you identify with most — what would it be and why?
For me, that would be justice. I think justice applies to all things — not just in government or society, but also in relationships, business, and even the way you treat yourself. When people reap what they sow, they learn to become a beneficial part of humanity.
Describe your most embarrassing past work experience.
When I was working as a hotel front desk agent, I had a customer come up and ask me to take a picture of a bruise on his head so he could validate an urgent care visit as a travel expense. Seeing a black mark across his forehead, I exclaimed, “Oh, holy crap! That is an ugly bruise! What did you do?”
He replied, “Oh no, the bruise is on the back of my head. This is for Ash Wednesday.”
What do you like best about working for Argive Roofing?
The opportunity to create a truly unique roofing company that is edgy, full of integrity, and where the team has the freedom to really have fun and be themselves.
Describe your ideal Saturday (aside from working with Argive, obviously).
Ideally, I’d be exploring another country. If I have to stay here, then I’d probably be playing the LOTR Trading Card Game or Assassin’s Creed. And ice cream would have to be involved. Multiple times.
You’re having a dinner party with five people from history. Who do you invite?
Homer, Beowulf, Robin Hood, Sundiata Keita, and J.R.R. Tolkien.
Tolkien would be taking notes on Beowulf and speaking to him in Old English the whole time, making everyone feel like an undereducated third wheel. Robin Hood would be evaluating everyone’s socioeconomic standing and enacting justice on any elitists in the room — which would probably involve pickpocketing money pouches from Sundiata and Beowulf and giving them to Homer and myself. After a few horns of mead, Beowulf would challenge Sundiata to a duel, and they would probably fight naked. Homer would compose an epic poem about the battle, infusing it with magical elements and divine intervention. Simultaneously, Tolkien would comment on Homer’s meter and choice of language while Robin Hood offers the pot roast to a neighbor walking her golden retriever. Best party ever.
Describe your ideal roof to be on.
Any roof big enough to reenact the Battle of Helm’s Deep.
What superpower would you choose to make yourself the Supreme Roofer?
I’m gonna go with teleportation. I could just be like, “I’ll get up there and do a quick inspection.” *BAMF* *BAMF* “Yep, hail for days. Looks like someone took a cheese grater to your roof.”
If you had to live in another time period other than your own, which would you choose and why?
Probably Medieval England, maybe 12th century. Sure, there are no “antibiotics” or “toothbrushes” or “health standards.” But heroes in that time aren’t people who throw balls through hoops or have reality shows; they’re just people who stand up for what’s right. Also, if you ever say, “I’m really sick of urban life; I need to get away,” you just walk for two hours and suddenly you’re lost in a forest.
Your marketing director invites you to play an Argive Roofing Dungeons & Dragons session. How do you respond?
“What a fantastic idea, and a well-articulated question! And how handsome you are, too!” Dibs on DM.
A mad scientist captures you and injects you with a serum that transforms you into an animal. What animal do you turn into and how do you react?
I’d turn into a komodo dragon and organize a rebellion in the name of all vertebrates (and invertebrates, if you happen to swing that way).
Miley Cyrus contacts you and requests a roofing inspection. How do you respond?
Well, I rush over there as soon as possible. Because it’s — you know — professional…and stuff.
But then I’d inevitably end up informing her of eight OSHA violations in her music video and kindly suggest that she wear, if nothing else, a hard hat in a demolition zone.
The entire Argive Roofing team is placed in the Hunger Games. Who survives and why?
I’m gonna go with Dustin because that body hair would allow him to survive any artificial cold snap the Gamemakers might induce, and wild animals would probably accept him as one of their own.
Contact Brady at email@example.com.